If The Doctor Says A Health Issue is Caused By Being Fat

I’m often contacted by someone who has just been diagnosed with a health issue, and their healthcare provider has blamed it on their size and, in most cases, suggested dieting. The person contacting me has been practicing Size Acceptance/Health at Every Size (usually after a lifetime of failed dieting) but they are wondering if maybe they should try dieting again considering this new diagnosis.

Of course I’m not a doctor and I’m not giving medical advice, but I always tell them what I would do. If it were me I would look at it in two parts. First – is it true that body size causes this issue. Second, if so is attempting to control my body size a good healthcare option?

Part 1 – Is it true that body size causes this issue

Determining this can be tricky because our medical system is so steeped in fatphobia that people extrapolate causation from correlation, and extrapolate correlation from nothing (I’ve had doctors prescribe dieting to me for a broken toe, a separated shoulder, and strep throat, so we have to assume that healthcare professionals may be viewing our health through an extremely fatphobic lens. Almost any fat person can tell you that “diagnosis fat/prescription weight loss” is a huge barrier to fat people getting competent healthcare.)

The question that I’ve found to get to the bottom of this is “does this happen to thin people” If the answer is yes (and it always is,) then I know that being thin can neither be a sure preventative nor a sure cure. (If the answer is “yes, but it happens more often in heavier patients” The follow up questions would be “based on what research” and “how much more often are heavier patients tested for this than thinner people.” )

Part 2 – Is attempting to control my body size a good healthcare option?

If I were to decide that my size is causing this issue, the next question would be “is attempting to control my body size a good healthcare option?”

There is not a single study where more than a tiny fraction of people have succeeded at long-term weight loss, and very often these “successes” lost only 5-10 pounds. Almost everyone who attempts to manipulate their body size (through whatever method, whether it’s called a diet or lifestyle change, or something else) ends up gaining back their weight, and the majority gain back more than they lost and end up at a higher weight (that was exactly what my dieting attempts led to)– so if we’re considering body size to be the “problem,” then attempting to manipulate my body size is the worst possible choice based on all the research, and my personal history with dieting. So that would be a no on the weight loss attempt.

I would ask my healthcare provider(s) what thin people are told to do for whatever this health problem is, and I would go from there in terms of choosing a course of action.

I think that doctors telling fat patients to attempt to become thinner (to solve health problems that thinner people also have) is not just lazy healthcare, it’s unethical, unsupported by evidence, incompetent healthcare and, if I can help it, I won’t put up with it.

Did you appreciate this post? If you like the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

 

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Remaking Jam That Didn't Gel

I've been preserving and canning food for a while now. I'm no expert but I've had pretty good luck so far with applesauce, chutney, jellies, and all kinds of jams.

Until now.

Yep, I just had a couple of large batches of jam fail spectacularly.

The Backstory

This summer we had a HUGE crop of plums in our yard from just two plum trees. Stupendously big crop. SO. MANY. PLUMS.

We gave plums away, we dried plums, we made plum chutney, we made plum sauce, we made plum pies. And still we had plums coming out our ears.

So we decided to try to make plum jam. This is not a jam I'd ever made before. A friend made me plum jam from a different type of plum a few years ago and I didn't like it at all. Thus, we'd never tried plum jam with our plums...but we were ready to try anything to get rid of all these plums!

So we made a few successful batches of plum jam, and I tried a little on toast one day. WOW. I was so surprised. I loved this plum jam. I think the difference was ours was made with Italian plums which makes a delicious, thick, extremely flavorful jam. I immediately knew I'd be making more.

We finished picking all the rest of the plums...we got like 3-4 big buckets more. So we decided to make several batches of jam, using up the last of the regular pectin (Sure-Jell) in my cupboard. The first batches went well, no problems. The last batch, though, was a full-sugar recipe (which I rarely use because I find it too sweet). But I was out of my preferred pectin, and I'm loathe to waste food. So we winced and made full-sugar plum jam. We thought we followed all the directions correctly, but in the end it never gelled.

So now I had a whole bunch of jars full of plum syrup. This is not something I am likely to use. I have some raspberry syrup from a batch of raspberry jelly that didn't set up a couple of years ago and we are still trying to use it up. Mostly we add it to lemonade to make Raspberry Lemonade, but it doesn't take much so it takes forever to use up. All those jars of Plum Syrup were never going to get used.

So I thought, let's see if we can remake that jam and get it to set up properly.  I'd never done this before so I did a little research and found some articles online.

Keep in mind, the information below is pertinent only to jams with an added pectin like Sure-Jell (either the pink box or the yellow box).

Cooked jam without any added pectin is another story entirely and not covered here; Food in Jars is a good website for that type of jam. Directions for remaking jams with Pomona Pectin can be found on the Pomona Pectin website.

General information about different types of pectins and the pros and cons of each can be found in my article on pectins. This article gets a lot of online traffic so hopefully people are finding it useful.

Why Gelling May Fail

When it comes right down to it, making jams and jellies is really a chemistry experiment. Certain reactions are needed in order to make gelling action happen. Basically you cook up mashed fruit, then add a certain amount of sugar, acid, and pectin in order to make those reactions happen. Get the balance right and you get lovely jam or jelly. Get the percentage wrong and you get a runny mess.

Fruits naturally have some pectin in their cell structures, especially in the skins and seeds. The goal of cooking the fruit is to break down the pectin in the individual fruit so it can then build a mesh with the pectin from other fruits. This makes a gel where fruit bits are suspended in a latticework of pectin.

The problem is that pectin molecules repel each other. Acidity is needed to overcome this and let pectin molecules bond with each other to make the lattice structure. Sugar is needed to bond with the water so the water doesn't overwhelm the pectin. So all of these, heat, sugar, acid, and pectin, are needed in just the right amounts and timing to make jam or jelly.

Here is a quote about the process from a science blog:

The whole chemistry of jam making is all about making this pectin that's in the fruit break down and become water soluble. That then recombines, and all of those hydrogen bonds that are holding it together recombine in a chemical reaction with the fruit acid and with the sugar, and that makes a lovely network that forms a gel, and that's the kind of jelly-like substance of jams. 

So you need to get that chemical reaction right, the pectin amount right, the fruit acid right, and the amount of sugar right so that you make the right consistency of that network that will hold your jelly together, your jam together, so you don't get fruit sauce.

Fruits that are naturally high in pectin and acidity like quince, underripe apples, red currants, cranberries, and gooseberries are an exception. They often don't need anything except cooking in a little water to set up and gel.

Here are a few reasons why an added-pectin jam of most other fruit may fail to set up/gel:

• Not enough acidity - Some fruits have enough acidity on their own to gel without adding lemon juice, but most fruits need added acidity via lemon juice, lime juice, vinegar, or other acids. If you didn't add enough acid, the fruit won't gel
• Not enough sugar - Box pectin jam recipes should not be altered. If you use less than the full amount of sugar, the jam will not set up. Therefore, follow the recipe on the box and measure exactly; don't try to make it "healthier" by using less sugar. The recipe depends on that exact amount of sugar. The exception is Pomona Pectin, which uses a type of pectin that doesn't need sugar to activate it; it uses calcium instead. If you want to reduce sugar in jams, use Pomona Pectin, but remember that most jams need at least some sweetener for the sake of taste 
• Too much water added - Using too much water to cook the fruit can throw off the balance of pectin, acid, and fruit. Use only enough to keep the fruit from burning 
• Doubling a batch or making too large a batch - Jam batches need to be made one at a time, no more than 4-6 cups of fruit at a time. You can't double a batch and expect it to set up properly. One of the annoying things in jamming is having to make and clean up each batch separately. But that's better than having to throw it all away!
• You didn't get a hard enough boil - Added pectin needs a hard boil of about a minute in order to activate properly. If you didn't boil the pectin long enough, the gel may fail. If the pan boiling the fruit plus pectin was too deep, then the heating may be uneven, affecting the gel
• Cooked too long - Some jams turn out runny because they were boiled too long. Overcooking can destroy the ability of the pectin to sustain its structure
• Using over-ripe fruit - The riper the fruit, the less acid and pectin it contains, and the runnier the resulting jam. If you use very ripe fruit, either add more pectin and acid or add some under-ripe fruit to balance the batch. Another choice can be to add in fruit naturally rich in pectin and acid like the ones listed above if you don't mind the extra flavors in your jam 
• Pectin too old - Some types of pectin lose their effectiveness if not used within the first year. Pomona Pectin does not have this issue but it's the only one that is reliably long-lasting
• Leaving the jars in hot water too long - If you put the jars into the canning pot too soon, before the water has boiled, the total exposure to heat may become too much and break down the pectin structure. Likewise, if you leave the jars in the hot water too long afterwards, that can also break down the pectin. After the 10 minute canning time and the 5 minute rest time afterwards in the canning pot, take the jars out immediately and place on a towel on the counter
• Tipping the jars - Some resources say that tipping the jars to the side as you take them out of the canning pot (or while they are cooling on the counter) can destroy the pectin bonds that are trying to form. Pick jars straight up out of the canner and leave them on the counter. Resist the temptation to tip them and check the set until at least 24 hours have passed 
• Not waiting long enough - Some jams with some pectins don't set up for a long time, even a week or two. You can always just let them set on the counter and see if the gel improves

Bottom line, if your jam didn't set up, the most likely cause is that you were out of balance with your sugar/acid/pectin, or you didn't cook it for the right amount of time. However, there are a few other nitpicky mistakes that even experienced jammers can make. If you have a significant jam failure, review the list and see if any apply.

Remaking Syrupy Jam

Whatever caused your syrupy jam, don't throw it away. Even very experienced jammers have had batches fail, so they have certain techniques for fixing a failed gel. They don't always work but they are worth a try. The following is the most commonly recommended technique for remaking jam.

First, be sure you have everything you need ready to go ahead of time. This includes a canner full of hot water; funnels, jar-lifters, and ladles clean and ready to go; extra new lids for the jars; and enough extra sugar, pectin, and lemon juice to remake the jam.

Open the lids of the runny jam (these lids cannot be reused for canning). Pour the jam out into a glass measuring cup until it makes a total of 4 cups. Clean the old jars in soapy water and rinse, or use new clean, sterilized jars. 

Mix 1/4 cup sugar, 1/2 cup water, 2 tablespoons bottled lemon juice, and 4 teaspoons powdered pectin. Heat up until it has been brought to a rolling boil. 

Add the 4 cups of syrupy jam. Stir continuously until the whole thing has been brought to a rolling boil. Keep boiling for at least 30 seconds more, but don't overboil. 

Remove from heat, ladle into jars, put on NEW lids, add screwtops, then can in a waterbath canner for 10-15 minutes, depending on the size of the jars. Turn off heat and let jars sit in water for 5 more minutes, then immediately remove jars straight up out of the canner without tipping them. Put them on a towel on your counter overnight.  Don't check or tip them until 24 hours have passed. 

Some people report that chia seeds can be used to thicken up a runny jam, if you are open to that. Personally, I dislike chia seeds so I have never tried this but if you like them it may be worth a try.

Remain Philosophical About Results

Sometimes you can seemingly do everything right and a jam will simply not set up. Who knows what went wrong? All you can do is give it your best shot at redoing it. About half to two-thirds of the time, you can fix a runny jam. Sometimes you never do. Don't be afraid to just give up and call it Syrup at some point. Feel free to pretend that's what you wanted all along. Plenty of cooks before you have done the same!

Don't throw away your results. People use syrupy jam as toppings for pancakes, waffles, ice cream, yogurt, or desserts like poke cake. Our family sometimes adds it to lemonade to make a special drink during the summer. It can also be dehydrated into fruit leather, like above. Or you can add a little corn starch and use it as a glaze for roasted meats. It's surprisingly tasty as a glaze with pork in particular. (If that sounds weird, think about cranberry sauce with turkey at Thanksgiving. Same principle of fruit with savory.)

My first try at remaking syrupy plum jam was a mixed success. Some of it came out perfectly; no problem with the set the second time around.

However, about half of it didn't set again. Oh well. Considering how many batches of plum jam we made, that still left me with a lot more Plum Syrup than I wanted. On the other hand, we saved half the batch. I consider that a win.

I'm not quite sure why some batches failed in the original jam. My guess is we got sloppy in our measuring because of how much fruit there was and used too much fruit at once. I also think the last batch of pectin was from an older box. Also, my daughter helped, so she may have cooked it too long; I'm not sure. But at least we were able to rescue about half of the runny batches and remake them properly.

The rest of the syrupy jam we just made into Plum Fruit Leather, using both the oven and a dehydrator. Same great flavor, and at least we didn't waste it!


Resources and References

• https://www.oregonlive.com/foodday/index.ssf/2009/08/post_6.html - The guide I used; basic practical information and tips in simple language, based off of government's site below
• https://nchfp.uga.edu/how/can_07/remake_soft_jelly.html - U.S. Government info about remaking too-soft jams
• https://nchfp.uga.edu/how/can7_jam_jelly.html - U.S. Government site about canning 
• https://extension.oregonstate.edu/sites/default/files/documents/8836/sp50604remakingsoftjellies.pdf  - Oregon State Extension's quick hand-out on remaking jam
• http://pickyourown.org/how_to_fix_runny_jam.htm - Old website, not well laid out, but the information is generally good
• https://extension.psu.edu/preventing-jam-and-jelly-from-not-setting - Corny video from Penn State Extension to explain how to prevent jam failure; slow and boring but good information
• https://www.finecooking.com/article/how-to-get-fruit-jellies-and-jams-to-gel - Basic info
• https://www.seriouseats.com/2014/08/jam-making-101-pectin-sugar-gel-point.html - The science behind gelling, but more for non-pectin jams
• https://www.exploratorium.edu/cooking/icooks/article_6-03.html - More on the science behind gelling and pectins
• http://pickyourown.org/pectin.htm - Pectin levels of various fruits, types of pectin, etc.
• https://www.thespruceeats.com/high-and-low-pectin-fruit-1327800 - Pectin and acidity levels of various fruits 
• https://www.finecooking.com/article/the-science-of-pectin - All about pectins
• https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2013/oct/03/science-magic-jam-making - the history of jam making 

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Fatshion: Autumn Look with Firmoo

Disclosure: I received products for this post. All opinions are my own. Hi friends! I’m so excited to share this Autumn look with you featuring Firmoo eyeglasses! Fall is my favorite time of...

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Is It Ok To Call Fat People Fat?

I frequently get asked something like “not everyone likes to be called fat, so when I’m talking to groups, or people whose preferences I don’t know, or if I’m writing about fat people, what terms should I use?”

It’s a good question, and there isn’t a single answer, but I’ll try to get the discussion started here:

When talking to someone one-on-one, you’ll want to use whatever they prefer – fat, curvy, plus-size, fluffy, whatever. Depending on your relationship, it may or may not be appropriate to talk about terms (ie: I’m happy to call you overweight if you prefer, I don’t personally use that term unless I’m specifically asked because it suggests that someone’s body is the wrong weight which I avoid since I personally practice body positivity…) You need to decide if it’s appropriate, and I would suggest (especially if you personally are not fat) that you err on the side of just using the term the person prefers unless you have a very close relationship with this person.

When it comes to groups or writing, there are words to avoid, and words that you can use. Let’s start with those to avoid:

Avoid words and phrases that pathologize body size either directly or by comparison, like:

Obese

The idea that our weight in pounds times 703 divided by our height in inches squared gives a health professional tons of information about our health and treatment options is pretty messed up, and that’s before you take into account the fact that the “obese” definition includes Dwayne Johnson (The Rock).  In addition to being an annoyingly useless abuse of mathematics,  it’s dangerous to those of us who fall under its numerical construct,, causing healthcare professionals to focus on height weight ratio instead of their actual patients, even making them believe that they can diagnose mental and physical health issues from a picture of someone they’ve never met.

Overweight

To me this is offensive because it suggests that someone’s body is wrong.  It’s body shaming. Over what weight?  Saying that someone is “overweight” is saying that:

• There is a weight that they should be.
• They are more than that weight (with the connotation that this is a bad thing.)
• It’s somehow our job to decide how much other people should weigh.

And that’s crap. People are lots of different sizes for lots of different reasons and it’s not our job to tell them that who they are is somehow too much person.  People come in different sizes and unless they ask us for an assessment of their body against some measure, then it’s not our place to say that they are “over [some arbitrary] weight.”

Normal Weight

“Normal weight,” along with the two terms above, form the basic classes used in the (totally bullshit) Body Mass Index Chart. There is really no such thing as a “normal weight” this is just a term that was created as a base from which to pathologize other body sizes.

Healthy Weight

Again, not an actual thing. Remembering that health is not an obligation, barometer of worthiness, or entirely within our control, the truth is that people of all sizes have health issues, and there is no weight that you can reach that will make you immortal unless and until you get hit by a bus. The conflation of weight and health is at the root of so much fatphobia, including and especially fatphobia in healthcare.

What If I’m Talking or Writing About Studies That Use These Terms?

If you are discussing studies that use terms like “obese,” “overweight,” or “normal weight” then put them in quotation marks and include a content note like “These are terms used in this study, we do not agree with these terms as they pathologize body sizes and are inaccurate.”

So What’s The Deal With Using Fat?

Fat is used by many people (including me, for the reasons I outlined in detail here,) but may be triggering for others – especially in setting like eating disorder recovery.  In other situations, it can be useful to use the word fat and explain that it is just an adjective like any other. The problem is that people have heaped negative connotations on it because of fatphobia, and the fact that we search for euphemisms and talk around the idea of being fat (ie people will say “You’re not fat, you have fat,” but they would never say “You’re not thin, you have thinness” or “You’re not brunette, you have brown hair,”) is indicative of the problem. So, learning to use fat as a neutral descriptor can be a part of dismantling size-based oppression. But it’s probably best if that work is led by fat people (as opposed to thin people telling fat people what to – and what not to – call ourselves.)

Using “fat” may not always be appropriate, so you can also use many other neutral terms that people, including fat activists and clinicians who work with fat folks, use. (Remember, no community is a monolith and so there will be fat people who like and dislike each of these terms.)

Person/People of size  – For a person of size, it is more difficult to find clothing that fits their body and personal style. People of size are demanding better fashion choices.

Larger body – For those who live in larger bodies, weight-based oppression among doctors can compromise their healthcare.

Heavier body – Having a heavier body can mean being the victim of bullying.

Bigger Body – Living in a bigger body can mean being discriminated again on public transportation and commercial airlines.

Plus Size  – Being a plus-size athlete may mean that you have to deal with stereotypes and fatphobia just to run the same 5k as everybody else.

So that should get you started. Are there other words that you use or avoid? Feel free to keep this discussion going in the comments!

Did you appreciate this post? If you like the work I do, you can support my ability to do more of it with a one-time contribution or by becoming a member.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Wellness for All Bodies Program: A simple, step-by-step, super efficient guide to setting and reaching your health goals from a weight-neutral perspective.  This program can be used by individuals, or by groups, including as a workplace wellness program!
Price: $25.00 ($10 for DancesWithFat members – register on the member page)

Non-Members click here for all the details and to register!

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com or on Instagram.

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the HAES® files: Never too much: Reflections on accessibility and fatness

by Gabrielle Hruska

In the summer of 2017, I woke up one Wednesday morning, unable to walk. The pain was so intense in my right hip and ankle, and my left knee. Unbearable pain, with absolutely no recognizable reason. I went to Urgent Care, the doctor there thought maybe I had Lyme Disease, she advised me to take antibiotics, and to see my regular doctor BEFORE THE WEEKEND. By the next morning, I was unable to take the pain and went to the Emergency Room. In Radiology, they thought I had been in a car accident. After 4 days in the hospital, it was determined that I had Reactive Arthritis. Reactive Arthritis is really rare, and was described to me, as precipitated by a “perfect storm” in the body. Some kind of infection combined with food poisoning, and after the food poisoning passes, your body can go into Reactive Arthritis. I did not test positive for any kind of infection, nor did I have food poisoning… I have no idea why this happened. It takes anywhere from 6 months to a year to recover from Reactive Arthritis, and my Rheumatologist says I will always be susceptible to a flare up. I spent the entire summer using a walker. I fought desperately against the supposition that “Of course this happened, you are fat.”

My eyes were opened to my own biases, and to others’ biases. I was ashamed. I thought, if I were thin, people’s reactions would be so different. To fight against that awful and false narrative, I became very performative. “The Good Fatty” trope was my life. I joked about my walker, I joked at work about making a music video with the beginning sounds just being the “shhhhhhhh” of my walker gliding on carpet. My work thought that was hilarious, and they made a commercial with me and my walker. Shooting that commercial left me in bed for days. I had overdone it, in order to avoid being seen as “lazy”. I had been willing to sacrifice my own health and well-being, for what? To avoid being seen as fat and lazy. The truly awful part of this is, no one had to SAY anything. This was all internalized shame, and fear of rejection that was handed to me by a society that places so much value on thinness, that our ACTUAL HEALTH does not really matter, as long as you are thin.

Eight months after that, my mom was diagnosed with cancer in February and went immediately to home hospice. While in hospice, my mom, who had pancreatic cancer, had an appointment at her doctor. At this point, my mom was in a wheelchair, she looked small and so ill. Her pain levels were unbearable. When getting on the scale, my mom made a big deal of not saying her weight out loud. My mom was so weak, she could barely hold her head up, but she was adamant about not having her weight said out loud. When she saw her weight, my mom, did a fist pump and said “Yes! I’m down 10 pounds.”

I had to leave the room, because I was about to explode with grief and anger. My mom was celebrating losing 10 pounds, because CANCER WAS EATING HER BODY. I was not angry with my mom. My mom is a victim of society. A society that tells us that we are worthless unless we are thin. And I say, “FUCK THAT”.

As a result of losing my health, over-performing in order to hide how sick I was, because, no way could I be FAT and UNHEALTHY, and my mom struggling with her weight even in her last days, I decided, I was no longer going to subscribe to this bullshit.

I quit my job, I decided to create a completely accessible space to ALL bodies, fat, thin, differently abled, ALL BODIES. I’m in the process of opening a coffee shop and yoga studio that focuses on accommodating bodies of all kinds.
At first, I worried that I was excluding folks by really focusing on larger bodies. That maybe thin folks would not even want to be identified with a place that talks about the importance and beauty of fat bodies. And then this happened:

Rain had just started to sprinkle on the windshield as I parked my car. I was just arriving to a half-day meditation retreat at a local University. Parking was not at all near the venue. Instantly, I thought, this is not accessible at all. How do students navigate this? I felt my defenses rise, my heart beat picked up a little, and a small knot formed in my tummy. “Will it be too far for me to walk comfortably? Will I fit in the seats provided?” Defensiveness of my body size and abilities roared up in me.

Should I bring my bolster, just in case there isn’t a chair I fit in? But, it was raining and a couple blocks away. Inner dialogue: “You are being silly. No one cares about your body size, this is a meditation retreat, this should be accessible. It’s fine. Leave your bolster, otherwise it will get all wet and I really do not want to deal with a wet bolster.”

I should have brought my bolster.

Upon arriving, I see all the chairs have arms. Trying to squeeze myself into the chair, the arms cutting into my thighs, I thought, “There is NO WAY, I am going to get anything out of this, if I have to sit in this chair. I am on par for bruises on my thighs.” I waited through introductions, and when the facilitator came around to pass out name tags, I asked, “Is there alternative seating, I don’t fit in this chair.” The facilitator’s face fell, she apologized and said there were prayer benches to use. I got one, and I literally did not fit in the bench. The name “Prayer Bench” is misleading. It is not a bench at all. It is a seat base, that you then have to bend your knees into, and lean your shins on padded boards to hold you up. No back, no arms, and it rocks. Yes, it rocks. I was forced to sit with one leg between the shin pads, one leg on the outside of the shin pads, and then hold myself steady. I was so pre-occupied with balancing and trying to be comfortable-ish, that meditating was not possible.

I was SO ANGRY. Why is my body so hard to accommodate? It isn’t. Chairs with no arms, pretty simple. Unfortunately, fat bodies are RARELY considered when designing spaces. Not to mention, differently abled bodies. If I had still been using my walker, my body would not have been ok to walk the blocks to the venue.

A light bulb went off over my head. There will NEVER be TOO MUCH accommodation. There will never be TOO MUCH conversation around body and fat acceptance. There will never be TOO MANY spaces that love on all bodies. Radically loving all bodies is my mission, and I hope it can become yours as well. You do not need to quit your job and create a public space. You COULD make your own spaces accessible, you could be aware of your self talk, and love on YOU. That is the first step, loving on yourself, just exactly as you are.

 

---

Gabbi Hruska, Fat Activist and Owner of Real Life Coffee &Yoga in Saint Paul, MN. Gabbi lives in Saint Paul with her son, a daughter in college, two doggos and a saucy kitty named Billy. Her favorite place to be is sitting on her front stoop with a hot coffee and a good book.

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We Remember: Pregnancy and Infant Loss

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I have a number of friends who have lost babies to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early death. It's more common than you might think. My heart always is heavy when I think of the babies missing in their lives, of who these babies might have become.

If you know someone who has lost a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death, please give them sympathy and a listening ear. Don't tell them how to feel or second-guess their situation, but just listen. If the time seems right, ask them how they are doing or offer to just hold them. They may not want to grieve in front of others, so a card or a message of love and support can be helpful yet still allow them to grieve in private. Take your cue from the mother as to what kind of support she needs. Don't assume she'll be "over it" in a month or two. That loss will likely live on in her heart forever.

We remember:

the babies born sleepingthose we carried,
but never held,
those we held,but could not take home.those who came home,
but could not stay.

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Fat Is Not A Violation

Fat people on Instagram have been noticing a disturbing double standard when it comes to supposed “violations” of Instagram’s guidelines, especially in pictures that show some skin.

User @Laceangelmodel posted a picture that was removed despite her being fully covered with the comment “This photo was removed and taken down for being a violation. Where?I’m fully covered!!! Someone threatening to kill me in my comments was not a violation, but this photo is.”

It’s especially disturbing when compared to what thin people can post with no problem.

It’s not just pictures that are being removed — though that would be bad enough. Accounts are also being “shadow banned” — a practice where IG limits who can see pictures to the user and their followers, vastly reducing their ability to be found and seen, especially through hashtags.

As @fullerfigurefullerbust put it “‪I’ve defo been shadow banned on instagram – I can tell because my posts never make ‘top posts’ on hashtags with few posts, and my likes have vastly depleted. If I were a slim woman posting similar content then this wouldn’t happen. Fat bodies are being muted, and I’m not ok with that. I post content that I know for a FACT empowers and emboldens others, and yet because my body isn’t ‘perfect’, I’m given a disadvantage. The size 10 women showing how at some angles they have chins and a stomach roll get 468010k likes – because that’s acceptable. That’s temporary. My big fat body isn’t. And it’s punished.”

Instagram has already been under fire for treating female and male presenting nipplesdifferently. This new inequality in moderation is, like the ‘free the nipple’ protest, about the autonomy of women and femmes. It’s also about the ability of fat people to have and be role models. Representation matters; a fat person searching for the account of a fat person they admire, or searching a hashtag like ‘fatpositive,’ should be able to see positive representations of fat bodies without size-based censorship from Instagram.

Sarah Rosen @sehustlerosen and Lou Xavier @misslouxavier had enough. They decided to fight back with an online protest using the hashtag #fatisnotaviolation.

Read the Rest of This Piece (and see some of the amazing #fatisnotaviolation contributions) Here!

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Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

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