In Broad Daylight

After every reported/published act of violence in the USA there is always a chorus of the shocked and appalled about it happening in broad daylight. As though the time of day such horrific acts occur is somehow unheard of or more abhorrent. Do they honestly believe bad things only happen at night? Rings a bit close to “what was she wearing?” to me. Everyday in the USA we see this shit scrawled across every major news/media outlet, our social media, and just everywhere. 

I cannot feign shock and horror any longer. I knew at the age of 6 that the monsters of the world will find you in broad daylight, no matter what kind of person you are. I witnessed the true horrors of police brutality at that young age in my own neighborhood. I saw with my own eyes how brutally Black women are spoken to and treated in our society. How the police treat the marginalized and the impoverished with a heavy sense of “how dare you make me waste my time on you, you aren’t worth the air you breathe” in their tone and eyes. This was in the 1980’s, so how is everyone still shocked?!

Do we really need to “be there” or “hear the other side” of these stories after literal centuries of this shit?! Why?! Why believe or prioritize some make believe reason or excuse that would somehow make it all make sense? The reason, the excuse, the cause is always white supremacy and capitalism. It is power and greed that requires the othering of those most vulnerable already. Yet so many seek to pin the blame on the victims, almost always. White people in particular will seek out any tiny seemingly negative detail about a person who was murdered by the police in the USA as though someone having any kind of life outside that moment somehow means they deserved it. 

In broad daylight is when life happens. We get up and work and just try to fucking live! I don’t know where the shock of something happening in broad daylight came about, but it is ridiculous to believe anyone is somehow safer because of the sun being out. Every single horror inflicted on me throughout my entire life has been in the daytime. Sure, stuff happened at night too, but it all started during the day (with my abuser). 

When we don’t know what to say, we all have the option of simply not saying anything. I wish more people would choose that option. Instead we spout platitudes and cliches with faux sincerity and it all means absolutely nothing. No one with any measure of power is going to do anything to change this country for the better. There is more incentive for them to maintain the status quo at every level. We are now at the point where people are getting shot simply for existing within the eyeline of some gun nut, and oh boy are there a ton of fucking gun nuts in this country.

Even where I live, in the so called liberal bay area (ha!), there are highway shootings often. Police here regularly brutalize our homeless population with that same exasperation I saw in my childhood. As though their inflated budgets aren’t part of the cause of the disparity we see everyday. People are desperate and hopeless, there is zero support or options for most. If you truly believe that a homeless person is less than or at all different from you, fuck all the way off! You are simply very wrong. We are all so much closer to being in their exact situation than one of opulence and fame. But so many of us would rather look away in disgust and repeat disgusting stereotypes and myths than to actually face and find solutions for these issues.

Violence is how this country was founded. White supremacy is what it was built on. Because those are our fundations, we would have to dismantle all of it from the top down in order to start anew. I see no way any type of reforms would do anything but virtue signaling at this point. Our government has shown us time and again since its inceptin that they don’t give a fuck about the people they govern. They are all in it for themselves and their donors. The violence will never end, there is no accountability to be had or sought. 

We must look out for ourselves and each other. Our government has failed us. With Covid19 especially, they have done more harm than I ever could have imagined possible. The deliberate misinformation and propaganda they have spread to enforce the idea that it is over or gone or just a cold or flu has killed hundreds of thousands, and disabled millions more. They claim it is for the economy but they will have a wake up call soon when the workforce is reduced to impossible levels due to endless refinfections, as our healthcare system is crumbling before our eyes, and more will be pushed into desperation and homelessness. 

It is all connected. It really fucking is! Once you see that it is impossible to unsee it. If you find yourself looking down your nose at anybody, it better be these rich white assholes holding all the wealth and not someone who has nothing. And if looking upon the destitute with repulsion and disgust is your reaction to seeing it, do better. Read up and look at the ways this is all connected. Your repulsion should be with those that force people into destitution, not those suffering as a result of the actions and wealth hoarding of those in power. None of us are better than the other. We are all humans. We all deserve to feel safe. No one should be attacked with violence for simply existing. 

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I’m here for realness and sincerity, honesty and vulnerability, I’m here for the good and juicy bits of life that shine for me when I know I’m heading in the right direction.

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,
<3
S

Check out the Fat AF podcast on your favorite podcast app for all things fat sex, with me and my BFF, Michaela! (We only recorded a few episodes but they were good!)

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Life in a rural village in India

Housewives starting businesses with micro loans.

Thriving, some of them.

But if your husband decides to take your money or hit you or your children, you are his property. It’s his choice.

Or is it?

The Bandit Queens, by Parini Shroff, takes on all this and more, while being laugh out loud funny. The humor is sometimes dark but earned, and the ending is sweet.

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Thinking affects doing

This is a somewhat dismal quote, but hang on for the flip side.

Individuals who perceived themselves as less active than others were up to 71% more likely to die in the follow-up period than those who perceived themselves as more active. This finding held across 3 samples and after adjusting for actual levels of physical activity and other covariates. Conclusions: Individuals’ perceptions about their level of physical activity strongly predicted mortality, even after accounting for the effects of actual physical activity and other known determinants of mortality. This suggests that perceptions about health behaviors may play an important role in shaping health outcomes. – Zahrt, O. H., & Crum, A. J. (2017). Perceived physical activity and mortality: Evidence from three nationally representative U.S. samples. Health Psychology, 36(11), 1017–1025.

Thinking you’re less active than your peers can have negative affects. Turns out the opposite is also true. Hotel maids who were educated on how much *exercise* is involved in their daily work and that they were getting more exercise than recommended had their blood pressure drop and other changes despite making no conscious changes to their routine- just being aware that their job activities was beneficial.

More recently, researchers found you can see similar affects with step counters. (Gift link – no paywall.)

• “You’re doing more than recommended” : health improvements.
• “You’re not exercising enough” : no improvements.

(I will note, as usual, that pedometers do not always work uniformly on superfat people etc etc.)

What I will say is: Give yourself credit for what you are doing for yourself.

Getting enough sleep? Yay!

Following up on some nagging thing like a sore tooth or getting a physical? Yay!

Rubbing lotion into your dry skin and maybe giving yourself a bit of a foot massage? Yay!

Going for a walk? Yay!

It all counts.

If it helps, remember this meme:

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Alcohol

I seem to have hit on a string of books where the characters drink alcohol every day. Usually multiple drinks at a sitting.

Then I read a Tumblr post that reiterates that 3 to 5 drinks at a time is considered a binge, and the liver needs time to process it, so even if you only have a drink a day your liver is getting affected. Plus researchers poking holes in the theory that “moderate drinking” is good for you.

Yes, before he passed, my dad had alcohol-related dementia.  So it can be a button for me. But there ia a lot of weirdness around alcohol in our culture. I don’t thinking any drinking means “OMG PROBLEM”. I do wonder at cocktails followed by wine followed by port.

Possibly some media depictions of drinking are merely aspirations of having the time and money for that sort of thing, similar to Dorothy Sayers giving her character Lord Peter Wimsey a new, spacious flat with a butler and a racing car while she herself was “hard up”. I don’t want to deprive authors of wish fulfillment. And yet…why is this the wish?

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Signal Boost

Are you thinking about leaving your state or country? This essay has a good discussion of factors. The comments are even worth reading.

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Quote of the Day

“Wilson writes about how Black women — herself included — feel the pressure to make their bodies, their appearance, their actions conform to what whiteness demands in order to protect themselves, and how this daily negotiation of their existence extends to “performing” health. The bitter irony being that the Black women will still have bodies perceived through society’s lens as unhealthy and less acceptable. To add further insult, not feeling free to be themselves without repercussions, instead endeavoring to be “strong” and “resilient” at all costs, can cost them their physical and mental health. It also mirrors the long, sordid history of Black women not having autonomy over their own bodies.”

From a review (link) of “It’s Always Been Ours: Rewriting the Story of Black Women’s Bodies” by Jessica Wilson.

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A few things

Voting matters. Even if you’ve been in prison, you should be able to get the right to vote restored.

If you, like me, are waiting on Philips to send you a non-recalled CPAP, check your spam/junk folder. Despite my sleep doctor’s office having sent them my prescription, Philips insists it needs … my prescription. OR, according to recent email, I could get a new CPAP set to “Auto”. I actually prefer the “Auto” setting if I can get it. “Auto” means it auto-senses how much pressure I need and adjusts pressure as needed – very handy if there’s new pollen in the air or I haven’t dusted recently.

(As it happens, I technically have a new CPAP already. My recalled CPAP was old enough that I qualified for a new one under my insurance anyway, so my doctor prescribed it via a medical supply house and I’m using it. However the Philips CPAP under recall is one I bought out of pocket, it has a manufacturer’s defect, and I see no reason not to get a replacement. Especially since when CPAPs die on me it tends to be unexpected.)

I’ve recently discovered author V.M. Burns and her Mystery Bookshop Mysteries. Samantha opens her bookshop in the first book, The Plot is Murder. We also meet her grandmother, Nana Jo, and some of Jo’s friends. The stories feature a mix of characters of different ages and sizes working to find out – for example – who really killed the dead jerk in the bookshop’s courtyard.

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