Yes, I know it’s because I’m human and we operate best if we eat with a certain amount of “eat multiple times a day” and “eat a variety of foods”. But it’s frustrating me at the moment, and I’m venting, so deal.
I know my pandemic experience has been a really good one. We have a house in the suburbs. We can go outside without immediately running into other people. The programmer has an office to work in – actually we all have an office. Plus other spaces! And a huge kitchen! Plus my husband likes to cook!
It’s the “not going to restaurants” thing that gets me down. Meal planning and cooking more started as a novelty, but now the “what do we eat today?” question is just … I’m over 50, y’all, and I get tired of trying to figure this out. Left to my own devices I would probably subsist on hummus (in single-serving packs), crackers (to scoop hummus with), bananas, and cheese. Or frozen food. And cookies. It’s a rut that served me fairly well after my pulmonary embolism. But it’s not really enough to thrive on.
I actually feel better when I eat more plants and otherwise have more variety. This week I got some baby spinach with the idea of making at least 2 salads. Instead, I added a salad’s worth of spinach to ramen (along with tuna and green onions.) Today I grabbed a big bowl and put in a few cups of spinach, shredded cheese, bacon bits, and salad dressing. I was a bit impressed with how good it tasted and that I was able to put it together quickly.
A reader let me know about this TikTok, where @stassiesims discusses the email that she got from David’s Bridal that was an advertisement for Weight Watchers (aka WW) She talks about the fatphobic nature of the email and laments the fact that she can’t return her dress to them since their return policy is seven days after purchase, even though it took them six months to get the dress to her, and to reveal themselves as a company that is willing to harm fat their fat customers for money.
In good news, there is a follow up, which is that David’s Bridal corporate got in contact with her and when they said it was in response to their customers wanting to work on wellness, she pushed back that weight loss (which, she had the receipts to show, is what WW was explicitly selling by name in their ad) has nothing to do with wellness. David’s has agreed to let her return the dress, but not to end this toxic partnership.)
By the way, if this was really about “wellness” then why (according to a number of comments on the original video) did thin David’s thin customers NOT receive this email? Does David’s not want them to be “well?”
I call bullshit.
The fact that you have fat clients who want to buy your wedding clothes does not make it ok to send them unsolicited weight loss propaganda, which can be harmful to their physical and mental health, including and especially when you send the propaganda in the name of physical and mental health.
We will never know how many fat people David’s harmed, how many eating disorders they contributed to, how many customer’s self-esteem was damaged, how many will take another dangerous ride on the weight loss rollercoaster.
Once a snake oil salesperson, always a snake oil salesperson. Yes, even if Snake Oil, Inc. claims that they are not selling snake oil, they are selling “wellness”. Yes, even if Snake Oil, Inc changes their name to SO, Inc. It’s. Still. Snake Oil. And I still don’t want it all over my wedding dress.
As someone who is currently in the market for a wedding dress, David’s Bridal is off my list unless and until they correct this. I will find a way to get a dress that doesn’t support the diet industry.
If you’d like to tell them how you feel, you can contact them here:
1 (844) 400-3222 customerservice@dbi.com
Fatphobia can create all kinds of challenges and difficulties in the workplace that fat people are left to navigate in order to simply make a living. These things aren’t our fault, but do become our problem so we’ll discuss options for navigating fatphobia at work.
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I found this a compelling book that details serious mistakes in Secret Service management and culture. In many ways the failures of described are human failures of the “I haven’t had a day off in weeks, why not go out to the bar? Why not bring a person I’m attracted to back to my hotel room?” It’s a compelling rationale, if you skip the details like “Need to be on duty tomorrow” or “My hotel room has sensitive information that would be really really useful for any wannabe assassins.”
Details matter.
The book reminded me of software teams I have known, and not just in the “We work hard and you can’t tell us how to change.” Like in tech, doing your job as an agent well doesn’t mean you’ll be a good manager.
We are shown early in the book that consequences happen – if your misdeeds make the news. Everyone else gets a free pass. And, like many cultures, reformers are fighting both inertia AND specific sabotage from within. There aren’t easy answers, but it’s a good look at a problem culture with some amazing stories.
