Comebacks To Shut Down Fatphobia – Part Three

Here’s the next installment of my series of comebacks to the fatphobic nonsense we have to deal with. If you have a phrase you’d like me to create a comeback for, or if you have a comeback that you love, please leave them in the comments! (You can read Part One Here and Part Two Here!)

Again, let me be clear that these are just some suggestions.  They may not work in every circumstance  – especially considering things like power imbalances and privilege. Finally, I’m sure I’m not the first (or last!) person to think of these, so all the credit to those who are doing this work, especially those who came before me!

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I just want you to be happy.

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That’s great news. I’m as happy as I can be in a world that is chock full o’ fatphobia, so I appreciate your commitment to fighting fatphobia with me so that I can be as happy as I can be!

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Because you’re [a certain BMI], you’re at higher risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure…”

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This is way more complicated than your making it. The fact that you are saying this tells me that you don’t know enough to talk about it with me, which works for me since I didn’t ask you and don’t care what you think.

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“I don’t understand why you’re fat. I’ve never seen you eat very much at all.”

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I think there are two things for you to do here. First, you can stop monitoring my food intake, like, now. Second you can let go of the stereotypes you have about fat people.

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When is the baby due

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Oh, I’m not pregnant, but the night is young! (Courtesy of Marilyn Wann)

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I don’t date heavy girls.

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Wow, that would be really disappointing news if I was  fat woman with horrible taste in men.

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Don’t you WANT to be thinner?

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No, I want to live in a world without fatphobia

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How can you be ok with yourself?

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Because I know that being fat isn’t the problem -fatphobia is. (As a fat, queer person, this reminds me of how I know that being queer isn’t a problem – homophobia is.)

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You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you, would you *like* to go to the gym with me tomorrow morning? I could show you around! (Self-righteously, as if my fatness must be because of my ignorance about working out).

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I just want to know what you are doing for your health and longevity.

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Thanks for asking, let me tell you all about Health at Every Size!

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“Diets do work! My <mom/sister/self/partner/teacher/parole officer> lost XX pounds on <insert plan>!”

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I used to get duped by this too. It turns out that most people lose weight short term, but almost everyone gains it back. Dieting because a tiny percentage of people lose weight long term is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute because a few people have survived when their chute didn’t open!

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I can’t believe how FAT I was in this photo!

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I think you look great. Either way, I’m not really into fat-shaming. I’m going to head out, maybe we can hang out some other time.

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You’re not fat–you’re beautiful!

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Sigh. I most certainly am fat, and who said I wasn’t beautiful? Sounds like you have issues with fatphobia to work through fatphobia.

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But everyone knows that being fat is just unhealthy!

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If you study a little history I think you’ll find that “everybody” isn’t very credible. Also, if you’re curious, being fatphobic and healthist is not better than just being fatphobic.

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‘Sitting is the new sugar.

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Nope, sitting is just the same old sitting. Not only is this scientifically a mess, it’s ableist as well. Just…no.

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It isn’t flattering

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Fuck flattering!

Using clothing to try to create an optical illusion so that my body looks more like a stereotype of beauty that’s rooted in thin, white, cis, het, able-bodiedness? Hard Pass.

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It is my opinion and I am allowed an opinion

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It’s an opinion when you think it, when you say it out loud to a fat person, it’s dehumanizing fatphobia. If you want some support getting over that, I’m happy to help. If you want to keep your opinion rooted in stereotypes and bigotry,  then I’m done listening.

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You’re so brave for wearing/doing that!

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It’s a shame that fatphobia has messed up the world so much that just existing as a fat person without shame is considered brave.

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Clothing Company Marketing: We make clothes for all shapes and sizes!
Clothing Company Website: Clothes only go up to a size 24

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This is a shitty bait and switch. Be honest about the sizes that you make. Just market your clothes without lying, it’s not that hard.

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Are you pregnant?

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No, but the night is young! (This one I definitely stole from Marilyn Wann’s book!)

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I mean, I’m a big girl, but I’m not enormous!

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So you are against fatphobia only up to your own size? Fix that.

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If you lost weight, you’d be a knockout.

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I’m already a knockout, if you lost your fatphobia, you could see it!

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