Tuesday, 25 February 2020

Comebacks to Shutdown Fatphobia – Part 5

What ABout the _obesity_ epidemicHere’s the latest installment of my series of comebacks to the fatphobic nonsense we have to deal with. If you have a phrase you’d like me to create a comeback for, or if you have a comeback that you love, please leave them in the comments!

Read the first four installments here:

Part One
Part Two

At your weight I don’t care what the lab results are, I will never say you are healthy. – A “doctor” recently.
With that attitude, I don’t care what your degree says, I will never call you a competent doctor.
My mother to my husband – u have to make her go to <diet group she went to> My husband handled it beautifully by telling her it was my choice and nothing to do with her.
Me to my mother: If you want to remain in my life you will respect my decisions about my body and stop trying to convince my husband to treat me with anything less that respect.
When I am out and ask about gluten free items on the menu (I have coeliac) and people say “how is it going, how much have you lost” I generally tell them all about the awful symptoms of coeliac that I have lost! Puts the off their dinner, serves them right for asking.
Well, in addition to the extreme diarrhea and the ability to eat out at a lot of places,  I’ve lost a ton of time having fatphobic conversations like this. Celiac sucks and diet culture just makes it worse.
“But what about skinny shaming!?!?” Any time someone mentions fatphobic things.
Skinny shaming is wrong, but this conversation is about fatphobia and I’d appreciate it if you would not derail it. If you want to talk about skinny shaming, we can have a separate conversation about that.
While I don’t support shaming bodies of any size, I do want to point out that in this culture there is a vast difference betwen the way that thin and fat people are treated. “Fat-shaming” in the way that you are thinking of “skinny shaming” is only part of what fat people face – they are hired less and paid less than thin people, they don’t have the same access to clothes, transportation, social events, or medical care, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Our culture oppresses fat people and privileges thin people and the fact that so many conversations about fatphobia gets derailed by thin people who want to make it about them is an example of the probem.
You’re just making excuses!
Nope, I don’t need excuses – there’s nothing wrong with my body or my choices. You’re just putting your nose where it doesn’t belong, now would be a dandy time for you to stop.
Lizzo is only popular because people are trying to justify fat being good!
Lizzo is talented AF and the only reason people say things like that is because they’re  upset that racism and fatphobia didn’t succeed in keeping her out of the spotlight she deserves. *cough* Jillian Michaels *cough*
You can’t have short hair. You need to have long hair to go with your large body
I’m not actually taking applications for someone else to be the boss of my hair so you can keep your thoughts to your own head.
Once you realize that you aren’t obligated to use your hair in some kind of attempt to create an optical illusion to satisfy other people’s fatphobia, you realize that you can wear your hair however you want!
My mother to me, on hearing that my daughter was in hospital after just 5 days on Atkins “tell her I will pay for her to go to <diet group she went to> and give her £XXX for new clothes when she makes her goal weight” I was in the hospital car park at the time, and I think my anger and language scared some people.
First of all, I’m absolutely co-signing anger and language that would scare people as a response to this. Here’s another option just in case it’s helpful:
I will not allow my daughter to have her self-esteem and well-being used to bribe her into diet culture. Your weight loss talk is no longer allowed around my daughter. If you wish to spend time with her and stay in her life, then you need to celebrate her body just as it is.
Are you gay because you’re too fat for men to be attracted to you anymore?
Oh wow. It sounds like you lack the basic critical thinking and logic that would be required to have this conversation with me.
Oh sweetie, everyone doesn’t suffer from fatphobic bigotry like you. I can get a dude anytime that I want one, I just don’t want one…because I’m gay.
My diet worked for me. I just got a stressful manager at work and couldn’t do it anymore.
I used to say stuff like that too. It turns out that almost everyone loses weight short term and almost every gains it back longterm. The diet industry has done a great job of claiming credit for the weight loss and getting us to blame ourselves – or our stressful manager – for the weight regain. I don’t make excuses for that corrupt industry anymore.
Some asshole makes pig noises or cow noises
I have no trouble believing that you have the manners of a barnyard animal, there’s no need to prove it with sound effects.
You see a fat person, then you make animal noises? See, that’s just bad foley work. (Note: this may only work in LA.)
That’s your opinion” or “I don’t agree with you” after I’ve just explained whole bunch of published peer-reviewed research. As if I’ve not been working in this field for more than 30 years.
I understand that research can be confusing – especially when it conflicts with the stereotypes and prejudices that we hold. Look, if you ever want me to explain it to you just let me know. Until then, I’m kind of done wasting my time having these conversations with you.

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