“There’s no fool like an old fool.”
I just said that. About Rudy Giuliani and his insistence on defaming Ruby Freeman and Shea Moss. I’m totally justified in the assessment.
I’m still surprised by my phrasing.
Judi bola online sbobet kini secara bertahap menggantikan gaya taruhan tradisional. Dan untuk bisa memulai bermain taruhan bola online, pemain di haruskan memiliki akun taruhan di bandar taruhan.
Artikel hari ini adalah bandar taruhan paling terkemuka di Dunia yang akan menunjukkan kepada Anda cara membuat akun taruhan bola di situs bandar taruhan manapun.
Membuat akun agen judi bola memang tidak rumit dan memakan waktu. Namun untuk mempersingkat waktu pembuatan akun, Anda perlu memperhatikan hal-hal berikut ini:
Setelah mempersiapkan semua faktor di atas, Anda bisa mulai membuat akun judi bola online resmi.
Sebelum Anda bisa bermain dan memasang taruhan pada pertandingan sepak bola di situs bandar judi bola online sbobet. Anda harus mempunyai akun terlebih dahulu, setelah Anda membaca beberapa syarat-syarat di atas. Kami akan memberikan beberapa langkah untuk mendapatkan akun pada bandar judi sbobet resmi:
Pertama, Anda perlu menemukan bandar judi yang memiliki reputasi baik, rujuk ke banyak situs atau pemain lainnya. Dengan bertambahnya jumlah pemain, ini juga menjadi peluang bagi bandar taruhan nakal untuk menipu pemain.
Bandar taruhan yang bereputasi sering kali memiliki nama dan jumlah pemain yang banyak. Selalu memperbarui informasi dan memiliki informasi dan memiliki sistem pengembalian dana yang jelas, transparansi kepada pemain.
Bandar taruhan terbaik di dunia adalah bandar taruhan dengan izin operasional yang sah dan jelas. Di sebagian besar bandar taruhan besar, bentuk taruhan sangat beragam mulai dari sepakbola, casino hingga e-sports, balap kuda dan produk ini akan terus di tingkatkan dan di perbarui.
Setelah Anda memilih bandar yang memiliki reputasi baik, Anda di haruskan membuat akun di bandar judi tersebut untuk berpartisipasi dalam taruhan bola online. Bandar judi terkemuka saat ini sebagian besar mendukung berbagai bahasa, sehingga pemain bisa dengan mudah mengamati dan memanipulasi situs web.
Anda harus mengunjungi situs judi bola online terpercaya yang ingin Anda ikuti dalam taruhan bola, di situs judi akan menampilkan informasi login pemain. Jika Anda masih belum memiliki akun, klik tombol “”Daftar”” di atas antarmuka utama situs web.
Silahkan masukkan informasi pribadi Anda pada formulir pendaftaran situs judi bola resmi ini. Biasanya Anda juga harus memberikan informasi dasar seperti: nama, tanggal lahir, nomor telepon, tempat lahir dan nomor rekening pribadi. Langkah ini sangat penting untuk menyiapkan 1 profil terpisah untuk pemain di bandar judi. Profil Anda akan di enkripsi dan di amankan dengan perlindungan dengan perlindungan taruhan berlapis.
Setelah Anda memiliki akun. Selanjutnya, Anda perlu menyetor uang dari rekening bank pribadi Anda ke akun bandar taruhan Anda untuk bisa berpartisipasi dalam taruhan. Biasanya di bandar taruhan besar, saat melakukan deposit pertama, Anda akan menerima hadiah berharga tergantung paker promosi untuk anggota baru masing-masing.
Untuk melakukan deposit, klik “”Deposit”” di layar utama. Pada saat ini akan muncul salah satu buku deposit dan Anda perlu mengisi 1 nomor informasi. Seperti nama akun, kata sandi, jumlah deposit, sumber deposit dan kode konfirmasi. Selesai, Anda tinggal klik tombol “”Deposit”” dan tunggu beberapa saat. Periksa akun Anda dan mulailah menjadi kaya dari taruhan bola segera.
Cara mendaftar akun di situs judi bola online sangatlah mudah, mohon di perhatikan jangan sampai memberikan informasi yang salah. Saya berharap Anda sukses dan mendapatkan banyak keberuntungan.
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I wrote a series of posts back in 2011 that really helped me start my life over again after leaving my marriage and selling my cafe. I thought about just revising and updating them, but instead I took a different approach. I still think those posts are helpful, especially as a jumping off point or as prompts to get you thinking about things a lil’ differently. I hope more than anything that this connects with you, even in a small way. Feel free to add your thoughts or comments below.
What matters to you? This can take some time but give it some thought. Deep down, do you have some core principles or beliefs that have never changed for you? For me that would be fighting for the “underdog”. When I was younger I leaned a bit too hard on the fighting part and it took me well into my thirties to do the real work which is listening to the marginalized. The fight only helps or works if you listen to those with the experience of what you’re fighting for or against. Listening to ourselves is so important, too. Listen to your inner thoughts and pay attention to how your body reacts in different situations or different people. It can be shocking to discover how much of yourself you have hidden away or tamped down or contorted in order to make things easier or better for others. When you know what matters most to you, you can then do more of what aligns with your true self and begin building the life you’ve always wanted. Your confidence will increase, things like others negative comments or obligatory family things feel less stressful when you know what You are all about. You are an adult and can opt out of any and all things that make you feel less than or gross about.
Who do you look up to and why? What qualities do they have that you admire? Are there qualities you have that you don’t like? I found that I admired people who were quick to admit their own faults and learn from them rather than those who would cover them up or get defensive. I looked up to people who read books and had an inner fascination with the world. I always loved people who sought out, fought for, and revealed the truth to all. Rarely the popular ones, but something about that fierce integrity always captivated me. So, back in 2010, I made a commitment to myself to stop lying entirely. I started small, by not lying to myself about things and people and soon challenged myself to stop lying for niceties sake. It was a big game changer for me. It shifted my outlook on myself, life, and other people, too. You can make very small changes that will have a ripple effect and really turn things around before you know it!
It helps to think of these things in smaller and simpler terms. I am not a goal oriented person. I do like a challenge, however, so that is what helped me to change parts of myself and become more aligned with who I wanted to be. I would challenge myself to try something, to push beyond my comfort zone. Even so far as scaring myself a little. Wow! That really changed my life! I opened a business, walked in fashion shows, danced on stages, sang in public, went for jobs I never would have dreamed of. Push yourself a little, see what happens. You will surprise yourself with what you’re capable of. Now I am able to look back, even in my darkest moments, and know that I really did those things. Just over five years ago I would cry myself to sleep sometimes hoping, wishing, dreaming of one day being able to rent an apartment of my own (as in with no roommates or partners). It felt so unattainable. I thought I’d be living in roommate hell or makeshift housing forever. I have been happily living solo for five years exactly! Even as I was making the changes I needed to and was working towards this long sought outcome, it didn’t seem possible or real. Now I have to laugh at that but we are rarely the ones to see right away how our hard work has paid off, so to speak.
You will need to create boundaries for how you will accept being treated by others. This will not be easy, and it will likely be painful. You get to decide how you want to be treated. You do not have to accept being treated as less than. You do not have to bear witness and sit helplessly while others tear you down. Yes, even if it’s family. You are an adult who gets to choose who you want in your life, and who you want to share company or your free time with. If you feel like shit whenever you interact with someone, you get to say when you have had enough and you won’t tolerate it anymore. That will often mean cutting people out of your life entirely. Not always, but it is difficult for people to see how their own behavior affects others, and they get to decide if they want to change in order to keep you in their lives. You do not have to put up with assholes and bullies. Especially when it is family, friends, or even your own intrusive thoughts.
Does the life you want include feeling like dog poo? Demand better and be willing to walk away from people and things that don’t make you feel welcome and valued.
Get out of the scarcity mindset. I still struggle with this. Just because someone came from nothing, or is struggling with poverty now, or is older or fatter or whatever, it does not mean that they are less deserving of something. You do not deserve less just because you don’t feel like your best self or are going through a tough time or are different from someone else. Just because I’m not rolling in riches doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun or enjoy my life. No matter what you look like or came from, you are very much desirable and even a dream date to others. You don’t get to decide how others feel about you, it honestly doesn’t even matter what others think of you. If you are living in alignment with the life you want and the person you want to be, the people and opportunities will come. You do not need to fit into someone else’s box or ideas of you in order to be happy. This is about you and your life, no one else’s.
Think about how you can accommodate yourself now for the life and body you’re in today. Putting off things “until…” is self sabotaging, in my opinion. That goalpost will likely keep moving and no one on their deathbed wishes they ate less or did less things with fewer people. Whatever the inhibitor, ultimately it is us that holds ourselves back from the things we want or dream of. When I was inspired to open a cafe years ago, I wanted my friends to talk me out of it, though I never said so. Part of me still felt less than and unqualified or unworthy. I thought surely someone who loves me will tell me not to do it. Not a single person said a single negative or worrisome thing about it. My nearest and dearest were my biggest supporters. That is how it should be of course, but it was never clearer to me than then. I think I wanted to be let off the hook but everyone was so excited for me to do this big thing that scared the shit out of me. So I did it anyway! Do the scary thing, often that fear can be fuel or even confused for excitement. Also, make accommodations for yourself in just practical ways like maybe you love cooking but you have back pain that prevents you from doing the prepwork or whatever. Get a rolling stool for your kitchen or a smaller table you can use to do that work sitting down. Just because we have been taught to do things a certain way doesn’t mean there’s no other ways and you have to give up things that you enjoy. Get a shower stool or buy that lotion applicator so you can use the lovely smelling lotion that makes you feel dreamy. Shame and guilt suck the joy out of life, release it and find new ways to get back to or discover the things that bring you more joy, not less.
It took me ages to understand what it means to truly enjoy your own company. When I found myself moving back to the hometown that I experienced horrific trauma, during one of the lowest points in my adult life, I was faced with fighting my own demons on top of everything else I was going through. I was dating someone that wasn’t right for me, but was close enough that I settled for four years of what was really just gaslighting and a good sense of humor. It was really hard for me to be alone with myself and not disassociate or lean into old habits and self harm. I stumbled a lot, but felt determined to survive and find my way to the other side of my own CPTSD hell. Sometimes I kept on keeping on out of sheer spite. It works for me, but your mileage may vary. I would be in my worst moments and then think of like Mitch McConnell and just think fuck that guy why does he get to be happy? Certainly I am deserving of a decent life if that evil motherfucker is still kicking and smiling. Also, super volcanoes. It was comforting for me at times when very depressed to go to sleep and tell myself that a super volcano can erupt at any time and I wouldn’t even know it, I’d just be gone. Poof! Again, we all have things that can help us through, I think because I went through some true horrors so young that things like that can feel better than the things I actually experienced. Find what helps you and use it!
A lot of our developmental years are spent having adults in our lives tell us things and insist they are the only or right way to be or think or feel or live. I recently heard this phrase, “Who taught you that and why?” and it can really help find things that you were taught that a.) aren’t actually true/right and b.) are not in alignment with who you are or want to become. So much of our upbringing is learning how to just be in the world, but our adult lives are more about finding our own way in the world. which often requires unlearning a lot of what we were taught. Some things I was raised to believe have been helpful and meaningful but some of it was and has been actually harmful. I learned my work ethic from my dad and grandma, and that has definitely helped me in life but it has also harmed me. My dad worked a full shift with a burst appendix, while working in retail management back in the day, and then drove himself to the ER. I had pneumonia for a month while working overtime as a retail manager, and I do not recommend it. I think many of us are raised with a specific idea of what success looks like, especially in American Capitalism, but is it what you truly want or view as success? It’s not for me, though I was also duped by those beliefs. I was climbing the corporate ladder and had a career I never could have dreamed of only to constantly feel like a fish out of water trying to fit in with the wolves of the corporate world. Don’t let others beliefs or desires dictate what matters to you.
Check in with yourself often. Life happens quickly and if you don’t stop to check in with how you’re really feeling about things you can easily get overwhelmed or feel out of control. Maybe you feel like nothing is going your way or you’re in a rut. So what would change that? What would make you feel more engaged or in control of your life? Sometimes it can be the smallest thing that can completely change how you feel about your life. Clothes have always been a struggle for me, and then of course having to organize them in some way always felt out of reach and stressful. When my clothes rack broke years ago and I was lamenting the mountain of chaos it made in my room, a friend offered to help me install an exterior closet sort of thing. It was such a simple solution, took all of ten minutes to install, and it lifted such an emotional burden from my mind. The next few weeks I would smile every time I walked into my room and saw my pretty dresses all hung up together instead of feeling overwhelmed and ashamed at the mess. Things we put off or ignore or pretend are fine usually feel way bigger than they really are. Putting off a phone call you’re dreading always feels worse than actually getting that call over with. Whew!
Did you used to love something but was shamed by others? Did your parents forbid you from or take something away that you always wished you could go back and have again? Find a way to bring that or its elements back into your life. There’s a lot to be said of nostalgia, but it does give your brain a lil’ hit of dopamine. It also helps to heal some things from childhood whether we want to address them or not. I was dating someone who was an excellent gift giver. They gave me a special anniversary edition of Strawberry Shortcake for my birthday one year. When I opened the box just a smidge to see if it smelled like it did in the 80’s, the joy and absolute dreamy-pleasure of it and the memories it evoked, unmatched. But it doesn’t have to be a thing, maybe it’s music you weren’t allowed to listen to or perhaps you were told you couldn’t sing so you stopped. Find something that recaptures that pure happy feeling you had back when. Maybe it’s a dish your grandma made or a place you used to visit. It all may sound frivolous, but it can be so powerful it will knock your socks off. This has helped me with reparenting myself, too. When you grow to not trust adults at a young age even hearing the word reparent sounds revolting, but these little nuggets of childhood awe and joy led me to what I really needed then, a parent I could trust and would protect me. So now I do that for myself and it is helping me in so many ways.
Once you know what you want in life, and who you want to be and not just what you were told you needed to be, you get to practice and adopt these attributes and ways of being for yourself and create the life you can truly enjoy. When they say “fake it ’til you make it” it is really just another way of saying “practice makes perfect”. First of all, perfection is a myth, toss that concept out the window! No one and nothing is perfect, never has been and never will be. Practice is how we get good at things. You didn’t just come into the world walking or talking or snapping your fingers. You had to learn, which takes practice. You have to try on and practice this new person and life you’re trying to become. Something that helped me practice is having a little sign with an affirming phrase or photo on the inside of your door and on your bathroom mirror, somewhere you look at at least twice a day. One of mine was “You’re a total badass!” and another was, “You’re fucking awesome!” I like swear words, you may or may not, whatever works for you is the point. You don’t have to believe what it says at first, but I encourage you to read it aloud at least once a day. On my mirror at home now I have this silly little stick figure flossing their teeth with the words “floss them shits!” on it, and I love it, I laugh every time I see it and I don’t forget to floss.The things we surround ourselves with have an impact. I soon found myself not just saying, but believing and ultimately knowing that I am a total badass. Nothing can take that away from me now, it is me. For me, being a total badass at its core is caring. I care, often more than I should, but I care deeply and I refuse to feel ashamed of that anymore. To be kind and caring in this world is punk as fuck!
All that matters is you and how you feel about you. I use the deathbed metaphor a lot, but if I can look back and have no regrets, then I feel good, ya know? I don’t regret not fitting in or never becoming class president, even though they felt important at the time. I didn’t get the opportunities others have had. I have had to fight and work hard as hell to even survive but I am a wonderful person to know and be around with unbeatable integrity as a result. I know that my principles have never wavered. I have always cared, but I used to hide it and suffer because of that. I let go of the guilt and shame I was raised with and decided for myself what success looks like. I never saw myself as a corporate climber, but found myself trying so hard to be that even though it never felt right. Trust your intuition to tell you when things aren’t right for you, it won’t steer you wrong. Most of my very few regrets are when I ignored my intuition because I felt I had to or was trying to be nice, but it wasn’t nice for me in the end. If something feels off, hit pause and find out why, or simply get the fuck out of there. I may have missed out on things that traditionally others look back on as their glory days but those people rarely like themselves now. Me? I love myself! I can honestly say that. It took a ton of work to get here but I don’t need others’ validation to feel good about myself now.
***
I’m here for realness and sincerity, honesty and vulnerability, I’m here for the good and juicy bits of life that shine for me when I know I’m heading in the right direction.
Rad Fatty Love to ALL,
<3
S
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As usual when Google has an app that just works, it’s being taken away. Google is pushing Podcast users to YouTube Music. I’m looking at other podcast app options for Android.
At the moment I’ve installed AntennaPod, largely because it’s open source and free. I’ve had no problem finding my usual podcasts. Playback hasn’t been a problem.
Anybody else got a good solution for Podcasts on Android phones?
Dunia taruhan penuh dengan banyak sekali taruhan populer, dan taruhan Double Chance ada dalam daftar itu. Ketika berbicara tentang bertaruh pada tim yang setara, itu adalah panggilan terbaik untuk pemula maupun profesional.
Double Chance adalah taruhan pada dua kemungkinan hasil suatu pertandingan olahraga dari tiga pertandingan olahraga. Taruhan hasil ganda melibatkan judi bola online pada beberapa kemungkinan hasil, yang memberi Anda keuntungan jika memenangkan salah satu hasil tersebut. Seseorang dapat meningkatkan peluang menang dengan mengorbankan peluangnya.
Taruhan peluang ganda biasanya diterapkan pada lawan yang berimbang. Dalam hal ini, penjudi memiliki cadangan ketika skornya imbang, atau salah satu tim menang. Tidak ada taruhan yang dibatalkan dengan kesepakatan hasil ganda.
Peluang ganda terbagi menjadi tiga hasil potensial:
Ketika kami yakin bahwa tim tamu tidak akan kalah, kami dapat dengan mudah bertaruh pada x2- tim tamu menang, dan seri. Kedua opsi tersebut akan mendatangkan keuntungan, tetapi jika tim tuan rumah menang, kesepakatan akan mati.
Ketika kami yakin bahwa tim tamu tidak akan kalah kami dapat dengan mudah bertaruh pada x2- tim tamu menang, dan seri. Kedua opsi tersebut akan mendatangkan keuntungan, tetapi jika tim tuan rumah menang, kesepakatan akan gagal.
Taruhan ke-12 menunjukkan kemenangan salah satu tim. Hanya skor imbang yang akan membuat penjudi tidak bisa kembali.
Taruhan bola online resmi double chance mendapatkan popularitas yang besar karena beberapa alasan yang jelas:
Semua orang tahu bahwa masalah datang bertiga karena selalu ada beberapa kekurangan dalam agen taruhan bola online.
1. Peluang rendah. Harga pada taruhan hasil ganda secara signifikan lebih rendah di bandingkan dengan odds pada hasil tunggal.
2. Akuntansi analitik yang kompleks. Tinjauan yang cermat harus di lakukan untuk mencapai hasil yang baik. Agak sulit untuk mengidentifikasi pemain luar yang mampu mengambil poin dari tim favorit.
3. Kurangnya taruhan yang sangat mungkin terjadi. Sportsbook biasanya menghapus hasil seperti itu dari garisnya.
Pemain pemula biasanya mengacaukan peluang ganda dengan handicap nol. Kedua kesepakatan tersebut memiliki kesamaan mengingat keduanya di buat untuk dua dari tiga hasil. Namun opsi peluang dan pengembalian adalah yang membedakannya satu sama lain. Saat bertaruh pada hasil 2 arah akan jauh lebih rendah di bandingkan H(0). Bagaimanapun, handicap lebih baik bertaruh dalam hal peluang, tetapi 2 arah akan menghasilkan keuntungan yang jauh lebih baik.
Mari kita lihat beberapa contoh taruhan bola online terpercaya sederhana untuk mengetahui taruhan double chance dan zero handicap dalam judi sportsbook. Peluang H(0) kemenangan tim A adalah 1,64 ketika kemenangan tim B mencapai harga 1,36. Jika tim A menang, setiap taruhan akan membuahkan hasil tetapi dengan H(0) keuntungannya akan lebih besar. Jika skor imbang, 1 arah akan berhasil dan H(0) akan di batalkan.
Saat memasang taruhan, seseorang tentu harus mempertimbangkan jenis taruhan dengan mempertimbangkan tidak hanya peluangnya. Namun, juga potensi hasilnya. Selalu lebih baik untuk berada di sisi yang aman dan memilih 2 arah, tapi terkadang ada baiknya mencoba pada handicap.
Double chance cukup populer dan di bedakan dengan peluang rendah dan probabilitas keuntungan tinggi. Sepakbola adalah pilihan terbaik untuk daftar taruhan bola online ini. Karena, seri dengan olahraga lain lebih jarang terjadi.
Penting untuk di pahami bahwa taruhan yang menjanjikan, yang tampaknya memang menjanjikan, tidak memberi Anda jaminan pengembalian yang aman. Itu hanya mungkin dengan kami. Padahal, cukup rumit untuk mencarinya sendiri.”
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Today’s treadmill listening was season 4, episode 1 of “How We Survive” on water sourcing in Arizona.
I have not shared much about my life with long covid, though no one can say that I’ve been quiet about it, but I have had a few people reach out with gratitude for sharing a tiny bit of LC life and so if it can help others, I’m here for it. My symptoms have been consistent but also consistently sporadic. This past weekend my tinnitus had suddenly returned for an extended episode this time and it had me very alarmed. I had almost forgotten what hell it was to live with for months on end. I didn’t tell anyone about it when it was at its worst last year because I think I was afraid of being gaslit or being called a hypochondriac. Now it is a random occurrence, usually less than five minutes. This time it was a little over two hours. While many of my symptoms have waned in severity, some go away for days or weeks and then come back out of nowhere. It is annoying for sure, but imagine already having your life so limited by this viral persistence and having more symptoms suddenly and then not and so on.
I have more good days than bad now and for that I am very grateful. The bad days are really bad though. Taking a shower can feel herculean in exertion sometimes, but for many months it was every time. It is hard to stay motivated and want to start your day when you don’t know if you can even make it through the day without collapsing. I have had such great improvement lately that when these random symptom episodes occur it kind of hits me harder, even though I was used to them a few months ago. My whole-body pain isn’t as bad as it was just three months ago, but then Saturday it was so hard to even move. Sunday I felt great and was able to do laundry and make my bed and other chores as well as doing my nails. Sunday night though I had the worst episode of chills since the acute phase of my only Covid infection last year. Mind you it was 65 degrees outside, so warmer inside by a bit, and I had full body chills that felt like my bones were turning into ice. I checked my temperature three times, convinced I was sick again. Nope, no fever. I was bundled in my down-alternative comforter as well as my usual summer comforter, and I was absolutely freezing.
Insomnia is kind of the worst part, at least in its variance of type and severity. I can usually fall asleep fine, which is huge for someone who has had insomnia for over thirty years, but I seem to always wake up a couple of hours later and then getting back to sleep feels impossible. I wake up feeling as though I was physically ripped from the deepest state of pleasant unconsciousness and then WHAM I’m awake. I have tried all the things I am willing to (I am not fucking around with the Ambien walrus – if you have other suggestions not OTC please share), but this is definitely long covid related. Same with my digestive issues. I went off all of my supplements by accident but was actually feeling really good about it for about six weeks. I just started my probiotic again this morning and have now added a simple multi vitamin. I was taking 8 different supplements every morning for about six months. The first thing that I noticed that really helped was a mushroom supplement that I am convinced got rid of my tinnitus. I thought that the natokinese had gotten rid of my brain fog, but wouldn’t that have returned after stopping it? Hmm…
Because every symptom is not constant, it makes it tougher to support. I can’t say treat because there is no treatment for long covid yet. I do all I can to support my symptoms with what I have access to, knowing full well that the medical world is not yet ready to even approach it and will predictably dismiss it as mental health issues. Ugh! I have had to learn how to support myself through some pretty horrific health crises these last few years. Long covid made that even more clear, that I have to be the grown up, for myself. I am glad I live alone most of the time because the way I have embraced openly moaning and groaning and whining when I’m feeling terrible has really helped me keep my motivation to at least try to do things that are hard or painful. When your entire body is screaming in pain, I figure why not join the chorus?! It sucks when I’m in pain like that at work though, it doesn’t happen often anymore, but I can’t openly groan in the office. Ha-ha!
Living with long covid for fifteen months is no easy feat! Only 7% ever fully recover, and since this is a SARS related thing, many from the SARS1 epidemic are still suffering its effects. That is an upsetting fucking statistic. I am hopeful for the future, but that future seems to be getting further and further away as more and more millions are suffering from this virus’ effects. What occurred to me today, after reading some LC community folks posting about their current symptoms, was how my brain fog hasn’t come back. I don’t wanna jinx it, but sincerely, it is the most fucked up thing to not be able to trust your own brain. Sure, sometimes it was funny things like only shaving one leg and then going about my day as though it was normal. Other times I would be standing in my kitchen not knowing at all what I was doing before or after that moment. I struggled to carry conversation, my bestie can attest to that one, as my thoughts would suddenly evaporate mid sentences. It was so frustrating and felt physically terrible too. I don’t miss it one bit but I also didn’t realize how long it has been since that was a pretty regular occurrence for me.
The absolute worst is fatigue. Oh my gosh! THE FATIGUE! This isn’t tired or exhausted, this is medical grade collapse, or at least that’s what I call it. Add the body pain on top of it and you really start to struggle to even see the point in existing. Adding more symptoms on top of those and so on and so on…fifteen months later and I’m somehow still kickin’! When the heart palpitations first started I was scared af! I used a heart rate app and would get so annoyed every time my heart rate was normal because it did not feel normal. The body can get used to a lot of shit you would neer imagine it could. Ask anyone with a chronic illness, most would love to have former versions of their current condition, especially if/when medical pros have let them down at every turn.
If you see someone you know to be chronically ill smiling or going about their life seemingly “okay”, trust that it is no small thing to a chronically ill person. We may be having a better day than usual and trying to take advantage before the next crash. We are often put in a position to tend to and even coddle the feelings of others if we express our truths or even share that we’re in pain at all. Please read that sentence again. Most people don’t want to hear that anyone isn’t feeling well, but if you haven’t been feeling well for years, they will treat you as if it is entirely your fault. They will suggest the most absurd things to “fix” the issues you have been suffering from and living with. Or straight up insisting you’re lying/faking, or the classic, “Other people have it so much worse!” which forces us into further isolation and makes us not trust people. People you think love and care for you will slip away from your life without warning, notice or apparent reason, but you’ll know deep down why. People quickly become uninterested when you don’t improve. They assume, wrongly, that you haven’t done all you can to get better. They have very little grasp of what the chronic part means when it comes to illness.
I have been incredibly fortunate to have a job and a boss that is empathetic and understanding and so I have been able to continue to house and feed myself through my illness. Had I worked anywhere else I am certain I would have been forced to live on the street. I am often in disbelief at the good fortune I have had in my job the last several years. I’m an office manager, which is a lot of desk work, but it also requires that I get up and run around a lot. I have really struggled with both aspects of my job since getting covid. I did get my infection at work, from a teammate. I had taken off my mask for all of 2 minutes to drink some water, he didn’t know he was infected and had only met up outdoors with family. It takes literal seconds to become infected and the longer your exposure the more viral load you are taking on. There is no mild covid. Your initial symptoms through the acute phase are your body’s immune response in full battle mode. Many who have had no symptoms, asymptomatic cases are over 60% and the cause of most spread (in my opinion), or very “mild” symptoms are due to a lack of immune response. Some have called those with more severe symptoms as having a “loud immune system”.
I have had people insist I cannot have long covid because I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor. If you know anything about covid, regular or long, you know that doctors don’t know shit! Not only do they not know shit, they don’t want to know! They will insist you have anxiety or psychosis and will tell you loudly and unmasked every time! The truth of my long covid is that I have far less anxiety than I did before my infection, I can’t explain it, but it is true for me. Going to any medical setting right now is more dangerous to my health than not seeking medical care. The medical industry has abandoned all sense and reason, I refuse to place myself in more danger of further and worse infection from a deadly and disabling pathogen in order to get an official diagnosis. Long covid has a set of symptoms that are pretty core and standard to those who have it, but most of us have a bunch of other symptoms due to our unique and individual systems. I knew about six weeks after my symptoms started to come back after the acute phase of the infection that I had long covid.
If you have read this far, I beg of you, wear a N95/KN95 mask or better (P100 and others exist!) any time you’re around other humans. The majority of people are either grossly misinformed or are operating on information from 2020. We are no longer living in 2020 and the current variants of SARS2/Covid19 are nothing like it was then. We must adapt to our current reality to survive. SARS2 is a vascular virus that damages all organs, but seems to specifically enjoy attacking our brains. It can cause cancer cells to reactivate, diabetes, hair loss, reproductive issues and so so much more. If you are a fat bodied individual, you already know how we get treated in healthcare settings. I promise you that this will not improve if you get covid or long covid. Each infection increases your chances of getting long covid by 10x. Like, for real, don’t fuck around because you will find out! Oh and our pets are getting it, passing it, and dying from it too. I cannot help but wonder if my puggo’s sudden illness and decline was somehow related to covid (my only infection was almost a year later).
Please be safe, stay smart, stay masked! Get your booster shots, the new Novavax formulated for the newest variants, gave me ZERO SIDE EFFECTS! I had to pay out of pocket, but it was worth it for me. I hope more people will speak up and out about this information, but unfortunately I know that most people are not able to actually listen to it. If you have questions or seeking resources for covid related things, please leave a comment or email me, I will respond. Take care.