Have you noticed the looks on folks faces when you do something that goes against what they deem to be a rule? I’m talking about being confident in a fat body, breaking fashion “rules”, not dieting or trying to lose weight, or even having a fulfilling life. It’s one of confusion, denial, sometimes laughter (as though we must certainly be pulling their leg) and eventually anger.
I’ve had people congratulate me for buying produce at the grocery store. I’ve had innumerable older white women judge me upon what is in my cart or on the conveyor belt at the checkout line. I’ve had them make comments, remarks, insults, you name it. I’ve had folks make eye contact before hitting me with their shopping cart or baby stroller. While I’ve had these things happen in nearly every shopping setting, I will say that it was worse at Whole Foods, in particular (an old job required I shopped there for them 1-2 times weekly, it was horrible).
They will all insist that they act so despicably because they care about your health, and they are lying. In what other situation or scenario or embodiment would someone treat you inhumanely because they care about your health?! It’s bullshit! I’ve laughed in people’s faces over that shit. If someone truly cares about your health they will ask you how you’re feeling, if you need anything, they will sound supportive. Big difference, there!
When fat people appear confident and happy in public it goes against every rule that so many others have built their lives upon. The years of behavior modification and self denial and all for what? So they might finally be deserving of the love and self respect that we are not flaunting in their faces without the struggles they’ve been through. (Obviously, not really, but this is certainly how some would view it.) For many, these behavior mods and denials become a big part of who they are. When you’re taught early on that certain things are bad or make you a bad person, it can certainly shape your views and who you are as a person.
We’ve all tried these ridiculous things, filled with false promises, often disguised as a healthier way of living. It’s all lies. We know it is. Yet we fall for them time and time again. For what? Because we’re promised the love and respect and human decency we’re denied simply because we live in a larger body. Ridiculous!
Who knows what I could have accomplished or achieved had I spent more time living my actual life instead of actively hating my body. Now I can honestly say that letting go of those things, those rules and behaviors, was the best thing I’ve ever done. Free of the self hate and worries over every little thing and trying desperately to fit in (even when I didn’t truly want to, tbh). I would wake up so sad everyday. I spent years living that way. It’s not worth it! It never was and it never can be. Hating yourself, allowing others to make you feel that you should hate yourself and your body, is never fucking worth it!
When you get to the heart of this bullshit, it is all about money. It all started as a marketing scheme to distract and control and to profit. That’s it! That’s all! It was never about health and happiness. It’s so easy to get sucked into these things, it’s all very religious and cult like, imo. All of the rituals and meetings and shame and guilt and good versus bad. Blegh!
You’re perfectly fine just the way you are.
So whose rules are you following?
Rad Fatty Love to ALL.
<3
S
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